Boys don’t cry !

 
The biggest mistake that people (in the Indian society) in general, and mothers in particular, make is to tell their sons: ‘Boys don’t cry!’ It’s not uncommon that the Indian households reverberate with the words ‘Are you a girl? Why are you crying?’, ‘Don’t be a sissy. Stop crying.’ The words would be repeated thousands and lakhs of times till they become part of a boy’s system… till the words get imbibed deep in his psyche. And all this is considered normal. As normal as feeding a child or educating him! It’s a natural part of bringing up a boy.

On the other hand, girls are often told – ‘Why are you laughing so loud? Are you a boy?’ So what are we, as parents, trying to prove here? That it’s NOT okay for boys to cry and behave in a sensitive manner but it’s absolutely okay for girls to spend hours crying? Similarly, it’s NOT okay for little girls to laugh out loud and enjoy themselves while little boys can do so without second thoughts?

Why is the Indian society trying to inculcate adulterated values in children? Isn’t it unfair that we expect the boys to be insensitive and rough while the girls are supposed to be meek and submissive? Instead of asking your girls to behave, it’s better to ask all children to behave in an understanding and respectful manner towards each other. Mothers, we say, have a much crucial and responsible role in making our boys more sensitive towards the needs of the fairer sex. Do not forget the influence of mothers like Jijabai in the life of sons like Chhatrapati Shivaji.

Instead of throwing insults and threats like ‘How can you stay out late? Are you a girl or what?’ and ‘Don’t behave like a tomboy’ at your girls, isn’t it better to tell your boys to be nice, polite and friendly towards girls? Together, let us create a society free of the gender bias and discrimination towards our girls. Let’s not stop our girls from soaring and touching greater heights; let’s not stop our girls from laughing and our boys from crying.

Instead, let us teach our boys that it is okay for them to be sensitive and cry once in a while… but it’s NOT okay for boys to make girls, or women, cry! It’s okay if grown-up guys have tears in their eyes while watching a sentimental scene in a movie, but it’s NOT okay for grown-up guys to bring tears to girls’ eyes. It’s okay for boys to wear pink instead of blue but it’s NOT okay for grown-up guys to act rough, violent, disrespectful and ill-tempered towards the fairer sex.

Together, let’s pave way for a better society – one that promises a violence-free environment to nurture our future generations of boys and girls with care!