here’s no such thing as ‘perfect parenting’. Being a parent is a full-time job and a difficult one at that. So, it’s only human if at times most parents unwillingly slip in and out of their roles of being the guiding force.

In fact, think of all your goof-ups as a learning experience for both you and your child. Acknowledge your shortcomings and start working on them. This way, you are setting an example for your child that it’s okay to make mistakes, provided you own up to it and make amends.

During an Express Master class on ‘How to be a better parent’, Gloria Burrett, integrative psychotherapist, gave us some valuable inputs on how to raise a child. Here are some of the salient points.
 
Don’t let your child overpower you:

Now, most parents complain about not being able to handle their child and eventually succumbing under pressure. So, the golden rule is to simply make sure your intentions and strategies are the same when it comes to delivering. For instance, if your child throws a tantrum for something he/she wants immediately, say ‘no’ if you think it’s not right. You need to understand that for a child, everything is a need. Let him/her develop a sense of tolerance. Let him/her cry his/her heart out. It’s difficult to see your child suffer, sure, but it’s all for a greater good. Let him/her experience frustration without you hovering around the sacred space. But be there when he/she needs you. And while you are at it, your child may feel unloved and neglected — which, in some cases, might lead to negative feelings — but don’t worry, it’s just a natural process and short-lived. You can easily break through the barrier with love and open dialogues.

Do away with stereotypes: 

The ability to command respect is something every parent yearns for. But it’s only possible if you connect with your child at a deeper level. In all humility, communication and trust is the key, but it’s also accepting the fact that your child is a unique entity with a life of his/her own.

Learn to trust your gut feeling: Use your intuition to guide your child. If in doubt, remind yourself that there are no fixed rules in parenting. Tailor your parenting skills to suit you and your child’s needs. Maybe, this way you won’t have to wear a mask of superfluous authority at all times.

If your child is stubborn, use gentle force. Bossing him/her around will not work. Instead, take the trouble to find out how to get your message across and devise your strategy accordingly. It’s all about playing smart. Keep your child’s interests in mind rather than indulging your own needs and aspirations, but stay alert and be very careful not to fall into the trap of helicopter parenting.

- Pushpa Bhaskar