How to Be a Good Girlfriend

 

1. Don't be too open at first : Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to "make" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare him away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, be patient and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. If you want to make it last, avoid the following things.

2. Be honest : While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way.

3. Speak your mind : Don't be afraid to make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. If you're comfortable with speaking your mind, then he'll be comfortable with speaking his mind, too.

4. Be yourself : Don't create a fake you just to impress him. It might be tempting if you think he'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, he wants to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because he insists that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible.

 

Be Supportive

 

1. Take an interest in his interests : Remember what he likes to do and what he likes to talk about. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, try to understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress. In learning to accept his unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.

 

2. Learn to work as a team : As in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others.

 

3. Complement him more than you criticize him : If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he won't look forward to seeing you and he'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt.

 

4. Learn to compromise : If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don't get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person's perspective. Try to understand where your boyfriend is coming from instead of blindly focusing on what you think you need.

 

5. Give each other space : You should support your boyfriend, but you should also be able to "be there" for him in spirit when you're not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your boyfriend. He should know that you're thinking of him and rooting for him even if you're not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the second you're apart, then you have a problem.

 

Be Loving :

 

1. Be affectionate : There are various ways to show your affection, some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc.

 

2. Give him gifts : When you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Guys love to get presents and giving him one shows that he means a lot to you. Don't overdo it -- just give him a gift when you're feeling loving and want to let him know how much he means to you. You don't want him to think you're trying to buy his affection.

 

3. Don't get jealous : You should be loving, but not to the point where you start seeing red the second your boyfriends talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn your boyfriend off faster that a girlfriend who is so insecure that she can't stand the other thought of other women existing in the universe. Your boyfriend will appreciate you even more if you're nice to his female friends instead of talking about how ugly or annoying any girl you see is.