Stress and Work go hand in hand in the lives of most of us. Suggestions of relief come free... Maintain good friends. When you feel the heat, sharing a laughter or two gives some relief. Keep some pictures of your Loved ones/ family on your desk. Stock up some low-calorie breakfast bars, dryfruits. When you are too hungry, you cant work, which might increase the strain too. A portable Coffee maker comes handy...Caffeine if taken in limited quantities and rarely is helpful. When you feel stressed out and suffer headaches, a cup of freshly brewed coffee helps. Keep few sachets of Green Tea in your desk or Hand Bag. Detoxify your body, relieve your stress (provided your office has a microwave or a pantry for hot water) Clear the air between some hard minded colleagues and you if there were any misunderstandings/ arguments anyday in the past...greeting everyone with a warm smile helps us maintain a happy environment.--just reminding, you know it anyways!! A short walk, sometimes with a good friend/ colleague and at times a lonesome one helps the rejuvenated YOU, ready to face a better, successful day!!   - Prathyusha Talluri

  I dont suggest you keep your Gold, Silver, Precious jewellery at home instead of safeguarding them at the Bank but We are actually talking about Fashion jewellery here. Most of us shove the jewellery into a box, a purse or a draw and when time comes to wear them, we end up taking too long searching for the right piece in the bulk. I have few ideas to not just showcase your fashion jewellery, infact these organising tips can save you a lot of time..Alleast the men will get only fewer chances to complain "Women take too long to get dressed" !!! We can use a Shirt Hanger, an Egg Carton, a simple Picture frame, fix it with an ordinary fence to hang chains and earrings, few curtain hooks hanging to a rod simple small cups in a desk to organise and categorise the items...etc etc..i know you can fill these ETCs with your new thoughts, shre them with us all !!!   - Prathyusha Talluri  

  Fall is the time for warm, rich and cozy colors. From hues of chocolate brown and golden yellow to burnt orange and lipstick red, these season-inspired rooms will have you craving a color change. A soft, neutral color palette is given a refreshing and fall-inspired burst of color with hues of orange, copper and dark purple. Chocolate-brown furniture and accessories complement the other pieces if you have any. We cant buy a new Sofa/ furniture just to change the look. Adding brown pillow covers and draperies in red tones give us bank for the buck. A fall-inspired orange accent color adds vibrancy to any room that has light brown, tan walls. Exotic patterns, colorful fabrics and sheer chocolate-brown draperies make it come to life. A sheer gold curtain adds instant warmth and privacy to the separated living and dining rooms. A traditional fall color palette of rust, gold, brown and tan make this Asian-inspired space comfortable and soothing.   - Prathyusha Talluri  

  Why are most topics written on Kitchens and Women? Dont mistake me, but across many countries in the World, most families have their Women cook for them. Lets think this way, women cook because they can cook with heart and soul !!!! A better feeling!! To make this a more better feeling, why dont we create a corner in the Kitchen which makes us feel relaxing. You can make it looking more beautiful and colorful. Its YOUR kitchen, decorate it your way. Who says kitchens are far from decorations. Enjoy cooking in a beautiful kitchen today! - Prathyusha Talluri  

  I am writing this for MY DEAR LADIES WHO ARE EXPECTING!! Its so exciting specially when its your 1st Child...its a new expereince, you dont know how to take care of your Baby whom you cant yet see, Sametime, its not so easy to cope with the Nausea and Giddiness and also maintain the daily vitamin/mineral intake. Its a great idea to make a chart with the vitamin/mineral dosage, and hang it against the wall in your kitchen, i say Kitchen because you will be visiting your kitchen often all these months, to keep eating every time your baby kicks!!! I am sure you like to browse through every Baby magazine...why dont we cut some pictures and stick them to the chart we are making to make it more interesting and a beautiful sight, every time you look at those li'l, cute, sweet Baby pictures, not knowing if Your Baby will look like any of them , all the guess work you will enjoy!!! And my dear Friends of the Expecting Mothers!! you can gift them one like this..it will be the Best Useful gift. Think!! I just gave you an idea, i know you are more creative!!! All the Best with your project and the Baby coming!!! - Prathyusha Talluri  

At times, we can't afford large spaces. I have some tips from Experts to make Small Bedroom spaces look Bigger! Minimizing color distraction on the walls, floors and furnishings is one of the ways. Use just 2 colors everywhere, not too many colors. Does your bedroom has access to outdoor space? Lucky you! Maintain the connection to the outdoors with drapery panels and window treatments that frame the view instead of distracting from it. "Use window treatments made from fabric with subtle details and texture, and make sure you can pull the panels all the way back," e. The length of the draperies should just barely touch the floor; this allows you to create an illusion that the room is spacious and as wide as the outdoors. Strategically hanging art is one of the easiest ways to make a room look bigger. The art gives your eye something to focus on distracting from the physical perimeter of the room and has the effect of expanding space. But don't overload the walls with too many paintings or frames! If you are blessed with high ceilings, take full advantage of them and choose a tall bed to anchor the room. "The height of the bed calls attention to the volume and height of the ceilings, again diverting ones view on the small floor space. Pale walls and furniture that is light in scale naturally make a room seem larger, but that doesn't mean that big, bold furnishings don't have a place in small rooms too. In fact, atleast one piece in a bold color like RED, ORANGE add drama Make sure you try to get a lot of natural light in your room which is an easy way to improve the space. - Prathyusha Talluri.

  We never know when we suddenly need some vegetables/ fruits/ grocery items...few ideas to stock up your Refrigerator and Pantry. I am only talking about HEALTHY ITEMS, definitely not JUNK!!! Fridge: Ginger, Lemons/Limes, Tofu, Organic Omega 3 Eggs, Almond Milk, Organic Skim Milk for Elders/ Organic Whole Milk for Babies/ Toddlers/ Childern until recommended by the Pediatrician, Organic Low-fat cheese, Apples (Organic if possible, else wash thoroughly and peel to eat), Organic plain Curd/ Yoghurt Kitchen Storage/ Pantry: Brown Rice, Pink Potatoes ( not the sweet potatoes, i am talking about Pink peel ones, as they have low cholesterol), Onions, Garlic cloves, Oats ( prefer oats to Corn flakes as corn is Inflammatory food), Extra virgin Olive oil, Desiccated/ dried coconut, Raw pumpkin seeds, Coconut oil (if you use it to cook), Vinegar, These are just a few suggestions, dont strictlygo by this list only, you will fall in trouble. Try to add these items to your already existing items, and prefer these over others whenever possible.   - Prathyusha Talluri.

  Reading books is a Hobby! Its a good habit too wen good books are chosen. Besides improving our vocabulary, reading works as a topic to discuss when there's nothing to discuss among friends or even strangers in an Airport, Flight. etc. They also come handy in decoration. The books we need must have some strong history, some character to discuss about, they can also be on Cooking, Interior Designing, Decorating, Gardening and relative stuff. They work as great collections. We can use a bunch of books to decorate spaces too. Dont find any interesting decorative piece, use a Book that talks about Beautiful Homes and Designs for display!! You dont have to pretend like a Book worm...they are just Books, no ones asking you to know the story by-heart!! Do you like my idea - Prathyusha Talluri

  Everyone likes to hang pictures, instead of saving them in an album. I have some new ideas, would you like to try? Photographs need not be in custom frames only, they can be hung to a cord , like clothes...they can be individually framed in few...a whole wall can be used to display one beside the other. Sometimes, one below the other, sometimes all aligned in square shape, too. Did you ever think of using an old frame to hang pictures? Attach a fence-like feature to the frame and use it to hang pictures. 11Memories flow through the whole space. No restrictions, absolutely no guidelines to display pictures. Try these new ideas. Not just you, everyone around will also appreciate.   - Prathyusha Talluri  

  Decorating Bedrooms is an Art! Not everyone can do it tastefully, but we can. I know you are interested and skillful else you wouldnot be reading this. Here are some tips we can follow to make anyone and everyone, including your own self say "WOW" looking at the staged Bedroom. Bring a room together by repeating an element throughout. Circles play a central role and can be used in chandeliers, artwork, pillows and mirror. Soft pastel color palettes are perfect for creating a serene environment for the bedroom. Match furnishings or accessories on either side of the bed for a balanced space. To avoid a boring bedroom, add different textures and fabrics throughout. Add height to a small room by hanging window treatments at the ceiling line. A simple yet elegant chandelier hangs over the bed for a romantic touch. - Prathyusha Talluri.  

As I absentmindedly turned another page of my life last night, a sudden thought crossed my mind. Why is it that I never stopped to bookmark some of those pages from the book of my life, at least the ones that I considered significant? There were many paragraphs that I should and would have loved to re – read. Those special moments marked in my book and specially saved for the “someday when I have lots of time”. The pages in which I had written about what I plan to be when I grow up. Also some of those (now a little frayed and yellowing) pages in which I drew the picture of my dream home. They were so painstakingly well written! In this book, I had also preserved some wonderful souvenirs, some dried flowers, colourful feathers, few dried leaves and a piece of paper that had a small hand print of my best friend. My most prized possessions!   As I grew, I often found myself wanting to erase and tear out some pages and paragraphs from the book of my life, wishing they had been never written! Unfortunately, I was unable to do so. Whenever I sat down to write a fresh new page, the blowing breeze would invariably open up and lay those annoying erstwhile pages in front of me, clouding my thoughts. So I decided to appoint a little voice inside me that would warn me. I paid, encouraged and nurtured this voice allowing it to grow. It would always help me and tell me what was right or wrong. I was happy and allowed it to dominate my thoughts, feeling and my being. Soon it began telling me what to write in my own book. I had no choice or control over it anymore. I would read each page from the past and decipher it the way this inner voice wanted me to. It had gained complete control over me! It soon started saying things I didn’t want to hear! Now not a day goes by when I don't hear that nasty, contemptuous, nagging voice saying, "You can't do anything right. You're a loser. You're not good enough. This is not your cup of tea “It had managed to make me, my own worst enemy. I wanted to shut this voice out, erase it and tear it out of me. I wanted to re- read the old pages of my book, but couldn’t. One fine day, I realised I had been reading my old pages from my life book ,with a pair of spectacles expensively bought from the “selfcritical” store . No wonder I couldn’t see much! I should have been wiser! I should have underlined those special lines and paragraphs with my red pen, the one that I had so lovingly bought from the “mark your achievement” store. I wonder where I put that pen! It used to write so beautifully. I used to give some amazing stars to myself with it as a little girl. I would use it for everything, for writing my best friend’s name, copying my favourite teacher’s signature. Why! I had even used it to draw my first picture of a rising sun! I remember being so proud of myself then! But as time passed, I started using it less and less. I was giving myself less number of stars each day, began evaluating myself critically at the end of each page. My beautiful handwriting had by now turned into scribbles. I now find myself picking up any pen that is lying around to scribble in my life book’s pages with strange things like, targets, deadlines, to do list, recipes, my family’s needs, children’s fees, doctor’s appointments, birthdays, anniversaries, due dates and bill payments, telephone numbers of grocer, plumber, electrician….. There are no doodles, drawings of a rising sun, beautiful home, and tomorrow’s dreams, no dried petals or leaves in it anymore. Sadly, I can’t even decipher my best friend’s number I had once hurriedly jotted down !!!   Do I sound familiar to you? Have you been nurturing that voice too? Does it bother you as much? Don’t worry; you and I are not the only ones doing this. Millions of us find ourselves battling a self-critic that we can never get away from. This critical inner voice makes us feel sad, hopeless and helpless. It makes us feel stuck in regret. We dwell on all of our past mistakes and think the future will be even worse. We can never get away from your own worst enemy, our own inner voice!   The good news is that we can defeat that inner voice and put it down in five simple steps. 1. Replace self-criticism with self-correction: Remember go to the right store and get yourself the right pen to write each page of your life book with. 2. Start looking for the positives: all of us have that little girl inside us who once drew a beautiful picture of a rising sun. Open up those pages again. Love them for they were indeed beautiful! 3. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others: We are often much harsher with ourselves than we are with a friend, or others. Recognize this double standard, and when you start criticizing yourself, stop and direct the kindness and compassion that you feel for your best friend toward yourself. Just as you need your friends on your side, you need yourself in your corner. Ask yourself, "If my best friend had this problem, how would I support her?" And then treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. 4. Let Yourself Be Human: All of have faults, make mistakes and are imperfect. Accept this. Think of people you know, their flaws and defects. You love them in spite of all that don’t you? Don’t spend hours moping, allowing that voice to criticize you. Love yourself regardless. 5. Focus on goals and not on the self critic voice: Move on, let the voice chatter away. Let it do its job you do yours. You will find that it will soon fade away and not bother you anymore.   - Veena ShyamRaja  

  Space organisation need not be stamped as a disturbing habit...I dont understand why some people think its a madness....how good it would be if someone helps us make spaces look tidier and crisp. Cleverly organise your spaces with these interesting ideas, you might be shocked looking at the pictures i have for you. Can you imagine these ideas were actually followed in real life!!! ... Use ordinary soup cans covered in decorative paper as tool, pencil holders. Some simple shower curtain rings can be used to hang hand bags, belts in the closet. Used and washed vegetable/seafood cans come in handy. Nestled side by side, these short containers serve as the perfect separators for small accessories and junk drawer knickknacks. Simply adhere any clear folder or plastic sleeve for paper documents to the inside of a cabinet or pantry door...i am sure your mind must have started thinking of new ideas....would you like to post some pictures too, we all can use those ideas too!!!   - Prathyusha Talluri  

  If you have seen a Brand New, Bank for your Buck kind of Vacuum Cleaner in a TV Ad, give it a try!!! But only if your old vacuum cleaner is very old.. Every appliance has an age and beyond which you can think of getting rid of them. Hair Dryer--Life Span: 1-3yrs Vacuum Cleaner: 5-7yrs Stand Mixer: 5-9yrs Coffee Maker: 5-10yrs Microwave: 7-10yrs Washing Machine: 8-12yrs....Dryer: 10-12yrs Refrigerator: 10-14yrs Dish Washer: 13-15yrs Check with the manufacturer on every other appliance not listed above, for its life span. This information is not trying to force you spend money, infact, if appliances are used beyond their maximum usage span, they tend to release toxins and fumes that are harmful for the people using them and also the environment. Suggestions like these are sometimes not just silly, they are valuable...think over!!!     - Prathyusha.T    

  Making Kitchen Curtain Supplies Needed Sewing Machine Scissors Thread Fabric Measuring Tape Instructions : The first and foremost thing is consider the fabric. Here, the choice of fabric will depend more upon the practicality, than your personal preference. This is because not all fabrics are suitable for sewing curtains. For instance, quilted fabrics shrink soon. Silk fades away quickly. Denim is too hard to be sewed, especially when you are a beginner. In this case, the best bet will be cotton and linen. They are light as well as user-friendly. Now, measure the dimensions of the window, using a measuring tape. Do it systematically. First, measure the window frames from top to bottom and then side to side. You may use the existing rods as the point of reference, to measure the window from top to bottom. Next, purchase the fabric. Buy a large quantity of the fabric, which is approximately equal to two times the height and three times the width of the window. That way, you will ensure that you do not run short of the raw material. Before equipping yourself with a sewing machine and thread, wash and iron the fabric. Washing and ironing will avoid shrinkage of the curtain during the first wash. In addition, the fillers used for finishing the fabric (which make the fabric stiffer and shinier than it actually is) will be removed by laundering it. Now, it is the time to start the sewing project. To begin with, cut the fabric lengthwise, using scissors. Next, fold the side seems, each measuring 2-inch in width and then stitch. Join the valance lengths into a single piece. Fold the header seams and then stitch them. In order to neaten the edges, fold and sew the side seams of the each curtain panel. Make a fold over the top 4 inches of the panels by pressing them towards the inside. Make a 2 inch hem by folding under 2 inches. Press the hem and stitch it. Ensure that you have stitched the hem close to the bottom seam. Now, hang the curtains or the valances on curtain rods. This shall be followed by pinning the bottom hems. Try to make the bottom hems as deep as possible. To do this, turn 1 inch under for a 5-inch hem. Press it, pin it and then stitch it. To give the finishing touch, add trimmings to the curtains.

  Most of us think Bathrooms should be clean and tidy but generally we dont bother much about decorating these spaces. Its a place where we spend not much time but people notice the fixtures, the style you follow even in decorating your bathrooms!!! be it an own house or a rented apartment, we can decorate them beyond expectations! Choose a theme, or a color, one more contrast or supporting color that goes hand in hand with your TOP Color...example, Yellow your primary color, Grey your secondary....Red the primary, Black or White the secondary....so many colors to choose..i am NOT suggesting to paint the walls....its a bad option without even knowing if you find matching Shower curtains, Soap dispensers..other necessary items, etc....and if you live in a rental Apartment, its risky to paint the walls..... Lets settle with the following: Our Theme/Color, Shower Curtains, Bath Towels, Bath Mats, all other necessary items...designs can be mixed and matched...i have some pictures for you..       - Prathyusha Talluri

  We all like to go out on Weekends! No matter how tired we are after the busy week, though we long to take rest, we still want to go out and Shop, if not Hop around the parks, malls... Oneday we are all tired of the same city, same mall...and Need a Change...why dont we prepare a TO-DO List of Pending projects at home, some Art work thats on your mind but you dnt have time to go shop for the supplies. some new Grocery store you wanted to visit. some home organisation supplies you need help of. Make a list of everything and anything you have been thinking of doing for a longtime and couldnot do....it can be even buying a new Vegetable or Fruit you never tried. a new room freshner you saw on TV and thought of trying.....You will like it or you will hate it, Atleast it will be OFF your Mind !!! You will get rid of the thought of "Why did i forget about it?" Do this and let me know if you liked being free of pending projects!!! By the way, it need not be a Weekend process only, we can follow it everytime we dont have an Agenda to do something out...use your vehicle's petrol for better purpose or a Double Dhamaka kind of trip which gives you Fun and fulfilment of finishing your pending job.   - Prathyusha Talluri  

  Your Kitchen or Storage room might be having plastic containers, that are good in size, you can throw them away for recycling but if there is no recycling facility and your home has enough space for new decorative items, you can try this. we need: Good size Plastic Container, i used the Whey Protein Container. A4 Size white papers. Glue. Copper-Gold-Bronze Acrylic Paint. Matching Ribbons Remove the label of the container, they can be peeled off easily. Take as many white A4 Size papers as you could buy. Apply glue to the container surface and start pasting the papers, one beside the other, once you cover a layer, apply glue all-over and paste the papers...we need atleast 4-5 layers to create a texture. once you are confident that the papers are smoothly pasted, without much crinkles, you can stop it there. Allow the container to dry out totally...Start applying the Copper Acrylic paint to the surface, give it coat by coat, atleast 3 layers until the paper white is not visible...you can tie any matching ribbons and decorate your space....i did it and people asked where i bought that Copper Vessel in this modern days..that was very encouraging!!   - Prathyusha Talluri      

  Suresh is getting ready to go to office and Smitha is getting kids ready to send to school. They have two kids, one 10 years old boy and 8 year old girl. Kids are teasing each other and talking about school. Once they got ready Suresh took them to drop at school and then go to office from there. Smitha said bye to kids and closed the door. She just dropped tiringly on the sofa. Tears rolled down her eyes, she thought it’s been weeks since Suresh talked with her. Even whenever they talk, it’s just about kids, if something happens in the neighborhood. She has been trying to talk to him and get close to him since she got married. He seemed ok but whenever she wants to discuss about family issue, or anything he would say, ‘that’s ok I’ll take care of it.’ Lot of times she confronted him about his not opening up to her, sharing everything with her because she had her doubts, maybe he didn’t like the marriage, or he was in love with another woman etc. but he says there is nothing like that and he is not good at expressing himself from the childhood. Smitha always tried to compromise comparing him with other husbands. He doesn’t have any bad habits, he doesn’t beat, he is a good father, he is good husband, handsome etc. Of course she feels very lonely when he doesn’t show any kind of response or affection for days or he doesn’t notice whether she is happy or not. If she is not happy and looking gloomy never tries to find out the reason. He takes all the decisions, Smitha feels left out as he doesn’t consult her or include her in taking any kind of decisions and for Suresh it’s not a big issue. Maybe other women will be happy that the husband takes care of everything but Smitha believes in equal life partnership between couples. She was becoming lonely even though she was totally involved with the two kids activities, she misses that companionship which she thought will be there in the married life! There are so many women or couples who are living like Suresh and Smitha. This is a widespread problem but in the name of family, kids, and most importantly the idea which binds them forever and that is once you got married, you have to adjust or compromise whatever life you get especially among the Indian couples they try to stay married even though they do not get along, suffering emotionally, suffocating in the name of our traditions and customs etc. This kind of life will have great effect on the health of women who learn to suppress their feelings, not supposed to share with either family or friends. If the husband is drinking, hitting, violent, demanding more dowry, harassing there is a chance of talking about these problems with others. In most cases women do not even talk about these problems too where they can get help if they are facing with any one of the problems, that’s why we read women committing suicides or in-laws killing daughter-in-laws and try to prove them as suicides. Women who suffer with an invisible problem like communication gap between couples it is very hard for them to live adjusting with their husbands or they cannot get out of the life in which they are not at all happy. Women usually love to have husbands who are good at communication, share their feelings with them, share the responsibilities, love to spend time with wives in spite of so many responsibilities try to take some time either every day or make sure to spend some time in a week to sit down with wife, find out what’s going on with her, how is she doing, if she is working talk about her work, throughout the week they discuss about house problems, kids, in-laws etc. if husband and wife take some time to spend with each other that marriage is going to be a very happy one. Many couples do not realize that the family starts with both of them and once the kids come their life revolves around only the kids, their total attention will be with the kids, enjoying the kids, how they are smiling, how they are growing up every single day, how beautiful they are becoming, how smart they are, taking care of their allergies, taking care of their colds, fevers, stomach aches, then the kids go to school, by this time the distance between husband and wife slowly becomes widened. They do not know what to talk anything else as they got used to talk about their kids so much, and spend so much time with them. When the kids start going to school women start feeling lonely little bit, as they feel they have so much time on their hands and do not know what to do. Everyone thinks that life is going smoothly but as the children start growing up and they become independent and don’t need parents that much that’s when the couple start feeling something is wrong or accept it as the part of life. There are different reasons why this communication gap develops between husband and wife. Couples observing their grandparents, parents, relatives what kind of relationships they have, what kind of behavior they have with their spouses also has an effect on the couples. If the fathers treat their mothers with respect, take their opinion into consideration in all the decisions, spend time with mothers – then the children also try to follow in their fathers’ footsteps. There are some fathers who take care of the family doing everything by themselves. Mother’s duty is confined to raising kids and taking care of the family members and household. In such families the boys try to follow their fathers sometimes after they get marry unless they love their wives very much and want to give them importance in the family life then they tend to do things together, some men like to change and some do not like to change their behavior at such times the conflict arises. When wives coming from the families whose parents are open minded and has friendly relationship and they try to have same kind of relationship with their husbands but the husbands coming from families where fathers control everything it’s hard for them to change according to their wives wishes.     When two people get marry with two different personalities it’s so hard to make the relationship work out. It doesn’t matter whether it is arranged marriage or a love marriage all the issues start once they start living together. After the honeymoon phase is over it is the girl who came to a new family, leaving everyone needs to adjust with everyone, their way of living etc. As long as the girl tries to adjust and not complain about anything even though she finds some things totally different from the way she was brought up thinking everything will be fine. Problem arises when all the women cannot adjust the same way. The wives start sharing about the problems with their husbands and if the husband wants peaceful home he should take the responsibility of becoming a bridge between his parents and his wife and try to remove misunderstandings and make them understand the situation from the beginning before the situation gets worse. In most families we see that either husband takes one side, either parents or wife’s or just ignore both of them and stop communicating with wife who is supposed to be his life partner and both should share their feelings, happiness, sadness etc. If the husband does not respond to wife’s problems then she gets frustrated and irritated. The relationship starts getting into trouble. Indian couples no matter what whether they get along or not they have to make adjustments and live like a couple, have kids, raise them and act like a normal couple in front of everyone. In some families where the parents are separated it does affect their children’ relationships or their marriage lives. In the small nuclear families or joint families if the husband happens to be evasive kind then it is hard for him to communicate, have intimacy with wife as he doesn’t think they are very important for a couple to live together. Naturally most of the wives expect friendly, romantic, communicative, intimate relationship from their husbands. The evasive husbands are those who try to avoid any kind of conflict and they have the attitude of, ‘you leave me alone and I leave you alone, you do your chores and responsibilities and I’ll do mine. What’s there to discuss, talk and take decisions together?’ Wife expects husband’s moral support, as most of the women are educated they want to participate in discussions of so many topics; they want to feel close to husbands, have fun with them. Especially when the kids grow up and they are busy in their college studies, planning for their careers etc. at that time women feel they need to spend more time with their husbands, even though they always had that longing for husband’s attention. The evasive husbands do not behave deliberately avoiding wives, what they are trying to say, try to maintain a distance than try to become close etc. they do it subconsciously, sometimes they do not know why they are behaving like that, also they don’t know that they are behavior is hurting their wives. Wives in such families try to explain their small demands, the wish to feel close to their husbands, to do things together, in raising kids they want their husbands involvement too. Wives try as much as possible to connect with their husbands like even the physical needs, sex is not just a physical need for women it is a way of showing each other’s love and affection but for evasive husbands it’s just a physical need. These kinds of things some women try to explain to their husbands and some can’t but husbands do not even want to talk or discuss about the intimate things at all. For them it’s not a subject to talk about, especially women are not supposed to discuss all these things. So in such conditions when nothing works out it is better to look into options like marriage counseling. Husbands who do not like the idea of counseling and women who do not want to continue the same kind of life without any connection with the husbands sometimes they go for divorce and get separated. This happens mostly in western countries but after globalization even in the countries like India divorce rates are increasing. As we noticed before in a marriage two different personality people are entering into a relationship which they agree to live together until death separates them. They do not have any experience or they do not learn how to live together when so many issues arise while living together. No body learns these things anywhere, watching parents is one way of learning but with the changing times we have to face so many challenges so that’s just not enough. Pre-marital counseling is much helpful for the couple who are going to get married. Marriage counseling helps people with different problems. When there are opportunities to fix the problems and continue as couple then they should get the help. Finding a good counselor, going to counseling regularly and following the suggestions of the counselor is more important. Some counselors ask the couples to come together, or meet few weeks separately with both of them and then meet with them together. It helps them to know each of their personalities differently and then look into what are their problems, how to pursue them, they try their best to keep the couple together. In some cases the couples go too late and in such cases after trying their best if it is not working out then counselors suggest to get separation. For some couples going to counseling living separately helps and once all the issues are resolved then they live together again. Sometimes after working hard too if there is no positive result then the counselors suggest for the divorce. Now many researchers who are studying the relationship problems are suggesting that it will be better if the schools, colleges introduce a subject of family relationships, especially man and woman relationships from the emotional point of view then it will help lot of couples to lead a happy life and avoid break ups and divorces.     Let’s look into the tips to improve the communication between spouses and if these also don’t work out then you should definitely see a marriage counselor. Try to set up a time to sit together and have tea or coffee together, talk about simple things like movies, or whatever you both are comfortable talking about. Do not start with serious talking and get into argument. Try to leave notes each other before leaving to work, like ‘Thanks for nice breakfast,’ ‘You look lovely this morning,’ etc. Wife can leave notes in his office briefcase or with lunch where he can easily see them like, ‘Thanks for nice evening yesterday,’ or ‘Thanks for listening to me.’ Try to go to walks together and this way take care of health together and it also helps to open up with each other slowly. Plan a vacation without children and try to have fun together going to a nice place. Try to avoid serious discussions and arguments on your vacation. Then slowly set up time to discuss one issue at a time. Set up some rules before you start the discussion. Listen to each other calmly, and then one after the other expresses their views. If one of you can’t agree try to explain slowly your point of view giving simple examples. The aim is to make understand the spouse without hurting his/her feelings and make sure to let him/ her know that you are not trying to hurt their feelings and how much it means to you if he or she agrees or make some changes to what you are trying to do. Try to share the responsibilities together and help each other. The most important thing is listening to each other and try to understand each other from the other’s point of view which helps a lot. Try to appreciate each other’s efforts. If husband does something nice to please his wife, she should appreciate it immediately by saying it, or leaving a note or by doing something special for him and vice versa. Remember a family starts with a couple and they should keep working on their relationship by expressing their love for each other, and if something upsets and makes them sad both of them should feel free to share with their spouse and get moral support, love and affection in return. If you are able to do that with your spouse then there is good understanding, friendship and enough love for each other. Otherwise what is the point of living together if you can’t share your happiness and sadness with your life partner? So if you have a problem with your spouse like communicating and if he is not responding whatever you may try then go and take the marriage counseling to save your marriage and also to live happily without hurting emotionally each other, suffering most of the time. This kind of stress also affects the physical and mental health. In order to avoid all this suffering, just like if you get sick you’ll definitely go to a doctor and get help in the same manner if you get some emotional problems and do not know how to handle them just go to professionals who are trained in giving counseling and help couples. Children will also be happy that the parents are trying to stay together not unhappily but happily taking help which will make the whole family very happy.   - Durga Dingari