Power struggle between parents

xt-align: center;" id=":sl" class="hP" tabindex="-1">Power struggle between parents

New Mom or Old Mom...you like to have control of the situation as you know your child better than Dad. Sometimes, we don't need Dad's help atall and it feels so irritating when he tries to force his help or expertise in Childcare.

This power struggle happens more between new parents, both Mom and Dad are new to the Child. Dad feels Mom doesnot know much about childcare as she is a first time Mom and he tries to give inputs and forces to help her. Though its her first time, she is a Mom by instinct, it comes naturally to her. She had practiced baby care right from the first months of inception, she had read multiple articles, spoken to experts like her Grandma and Mom, friends and others, asked numerous questions to the Doc...atleast she knows more than Dad. Its good to have a helping hand but only when she asks for it, definitely not when she doesnot need it.

The triggering moments are-- He jumps in when you are putting the baby to sleep and he or she doesnot sleep easily. The baby's mood changes and starts indicating to Dad to come and play. That is 100% a wrong time, now Mom's effort is totally wasted.

When the baby cries in sleep, he/she falls and gets hurt, when the nurse give the baby an injection...these are the times when the baby wants to see Mom's face, but Dad jumps in, and the baby cries more. He feels bad when Mom tries to show up....i have personally seen these situations...and believe me, things will ease as days go by. The child's actions will slowly express to Dad that he/she likes seeing Mom when sad or in pain, and why not, he still seeks His Mom's advice.

To ease the issue: Don't take it too emotionally, unless the child comes to you, let Dad comfort the child sometimes, when its not a badly hurt situation. You take a back seat. Let him also cherish those moments of cuddling with the baby. Don't jump in if he has already picked the baby up and the child is getting some relief. Sometimes the child forces his or her way out of Dad's arms to come to you, in that case, pacify the child and explain to the child that going to Dad is not wrong and that Dad is trying to help the baby. Atleast Dad will know that you are not power playing.