Other Side Of Expectations

“If someone is feeling more heavy than they actually are, it could be due to the burden they are carrying based on xpectations. And of course, children are not exempted from this”- say experts. In an interview of Sachin Tendulkar after his hundredth ton, he had said that although he never played for milestones, the way that eluded him coupled with speculations and expectations of an entire nation got to him at some level (for I too am human, he said), so that when it eventually happened, the relief he felt was far greater than the excitement of the achievement.

But why he alone? They are so many kids who are suffering from such baggage of expectations from parents and society. When a child starts taking his/her first meal mother tries to increase the quantity, variety of food and throws challenge on child in the name of increasing appetite. From there, it goes to their studies. When kids score 70% , then bar will be raised to 80% and it goes on up to cent percent. But in this process, parents put so much of pressure on kids, in result kids don't get to enjoy their journey towards success, just because of the burden they have of achieving the GOAL.

Referring to our parenting patterns, I heard a guru saying “ don't break a child to create a child”. How true.. We always run behind an imaginary picture of child we have created for ourselves and forget to recognize or feel proud the way they actually are.

Have you ever seen any child who scores 55% to 60% is asked to raise himself to 90%?? No. Right? This is just because, you know that you can't get the result from them in the way you want. In other words, children who perform, are forced to carry this baggage of expectations. Because, we have developed a belief system in such a way that, kids will perform when you put pressure on them. Of course, we have given beautiful names to this process for our convenience like coaching, training etc. But according to psychologists, kids who are underdogs(so called), are very lucky; they get to be very creative, they explore themselves in the way they want and widen their opportunities. This always brings out the best in children..And remember, no one will be remained underdog for long.

When there are no expectations, no stress on their mind then they will raise for sure and sky will be limit. But if you want to raise the bar of your expectations, kids will undergo too much of stress to achieve that set target and will be disappointed a lot if they fail to deliver the results as expected.

Nevertheless, you can make them upgrade, perform under pressure more and more in studies, co curricular activities or in jobs in future but when comes to relationships, you can't . If more is expected from people who do, then there is no saturation point for them. Bar of expectations will be raised higher and higher and it might become burden for them, eventually, that bond won't lasts for long...instead, try to be contended on what others can offer. Let them be your kids .. Learn to respect their capacity and limit your expectations.

-Bhavana