Only In America Funny Jokes

about america funny jokes only in america funny jokes of all time. 

* Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

* Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

* Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...

* Only in America..do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

* Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

* Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering..

* Only in America...do banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

* Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

* Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

* Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."