If animals have Facebook

If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:

Cockroach: Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle! :P

Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad..what shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember :D
...
Mosquito: I am HIV positive this is all due to wrong sucking !!! :/

Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all ?

Octopus: I have just refilled my ink..horray!! ^_^

Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! :X

Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming :'(

Pig writes a comment on Goat’s status: "Luckily I am haram" |4 likes (Y)|

Goat replies: "Don’t you remember that after Eid is the Chinese new year..?