Patient Doctor Jokes

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Patient : "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!"

Doctor: "Why?"

patient : "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it."

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Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

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Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever

pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please!

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Doctor: 'You are very sick'

Patient : 'Can I get a second opinion?'

Doctor : you are very ugly too...'

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Patient - Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.

Doctor - Pull yourself together man!

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Patient - Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a dog.

Doctor - Take a seat.

Patient - I can't, I'm not allowed on the furnitur

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