New Years Jokes

New Years Eve One Liners

My New Years resolution is 1080p..

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

If 2015 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.

Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2016 Please?

In 2016, may your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you.

Dear God, my prayer for 2016 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don't mix it up like you did this year.

Just heard that in 2016 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.

Keep the smile, Leave the tear, Hold the laugh, Leave the pain, Think of joy, Forget the fear. Be joyous, cause its a New Year.