My Favorite Dark Joke

A guy goes to see the doctor, the doctor examines him and says "I have good news and bad news".

"What's the bad news?" asks the patient.

"You have an incurable disease." says the doctor,

"You only have 6 days to live."

"That's terrible!" says the patient, "But what's the good news?".

"It's spring," says the doctor, "the days are getting longer".

Different guy, goes to see the doctor with a sore dick. The doctor does some tests and looks grim. "I'm afraid it's Guinea Plague" he says, "I'll have to amputate."

"No!" says the patient, "I want a second opinion!"

"That's your right," says the doc, "but you need to deal with this immediately."

Patient goes to another doctor, who tells him the same thing. Desperate, the patient then goes to an alternative practitioner.

"Hmmm, looks like Guinea Plague," says the alternative guy, "I recommend a holistic blend of herbs and essential oils, along with some deep meditation."

"So, you won't need to amputate?" asks the patient.

"Goodness me - no," says the alternative guy.

"Wait three weeks and it'll fall off by itself."