After the climax of intercourse, a couple who love and understand each other feel especially close and relaxed. They experience a sense of well-being and content- ment together. In othe words, although the physical pleasure of intercourse in intense, much more is involved than mere body. It involves a person's feelings, thoughts, and emotions. If inter- course is undertaken outside of a truly loving relationship between man and woman, one based on the caring of each partner for the other, then it can sometimes hurt one or both of the partners and their relationship.
Within marriage, intercourse strengthens and intensifies the love that man and wife feel for each other. Often the first time a couple have intercourse, the event to which they may have been looking forward with expec-tation of great pleasure is a disappointment. It doesn't turn out to be the ecstasy that each was counting on. For the man, it may all be over too fast; for the woman, it may involve some discomfort, and she very likely will not experience an orgasm, partly because for her, too, it happens too quickly. This can leave her disappointed and frustrated. Sexual intercourse is something that loving couples learn to enjoy more and more as they become more skilled and more aware of each other's feelings.
If a man and woman learn how to tell each other, either by words or by signals that each learns to recognize, what feels good, what they like and do not like, then their pleasure in sex together increases. A man can learn to delay his orgasm until his partner becomes more ready for hers; a woman can learn to show her partner how to help her to have a climax. It is especially impor- tant for the man to remember that stimulation of the area around the clitoris is very important to most women. It is the experience of many couples that motions of the penis and the thrusting stimulation, and couples will want to discover together other ways of stimulation that they will prefer.
It is important, also, for the couple to feel relaxed and comfortable and unhurried together. Many couples do not enjoy intercourse as much as they might because they see it as something to be accompli- shed - an act, even a task, to be performed - rather than a pleasure to be enjoyed. If a woman does not feel like having an orgasm because she is tired, or if a man finds he is unable, from time to time, to keep his penis erect and to ejaculate, it need be no greast thing. A loving exchange of feelings is good even if only one, or neither, of the partners has an orgasm.
You may have seen dogs or other animals mating and wondered whether the position they use the male's penis entering the female from behind - is also used by men and women. Generally it is not. There are many positions in human intercourse, and the most common one is for the partners to lie face to face, with the man above the woman. But couples can enjoy a variety of pleasures by trying out different positions and different ways of enjoying sexual satisfaction.
If a woman wants to avoid difficulty and discomfort for the first time she has inter- course, she may use tampons before hand to dilate- enlarge - the opening in her hymen, or she may enlarge it gradual- ly over a period of time by using her fingers. She should be sure they are clean. In a few women the hymen is so strong and the opening so small that a doctor will think it wise to enlarge the vaginal entrance before the woman has intercourse. This is a simple and almost painless procedure. Often, but not always, the first time a woman has intercourse, the stretching of the hymenal opening may cause discomfort and slight bleeding. This is physically harmless.
In other chapter will tell you more about human sex and compare it to sex in other animals, for one is very different from the other, and it is important to understand the differences.