Managing Anger

 

We've heard enough on anger and said enough on it. But it has been our companion all through the while. We tried hard to control it and failed. So! let's give one more try!!

The Occurrence: Anger might be the result of the external situation (like traffic, argument..) or might be triggered by our low mood. Surprisingly it was found out that some people can genetically be much furious than the rest. And of course, the circumstances that we've faced and the way we've moulded our character do affect our angry moods.

The Result: The fire in the tree would burn it and the forest. So does the anger! We and our lives are the first and fatal victims to our anger. If suppressed, it would boil our heart and mind. And if expressed it would derail our circumstances.  Our goodwill, relations, transactions... get vulnerable at our ire. By the time we realise that, things should have been dealt with ease... they would've turned worse. And repentance is all that's left after the fist of rage.

The Solution: While there are lot of advices given on the net and in the books on anger management... I've found the following to be practical and useful . You can add your own solution to the list.


- Expressing in the most plausible manner: If you feel that your displeasure should be conveyed, do it with a coat of sugar. Convey that you are upset, let them know that your are hurt... but let your tone be mild, and your words be polite.

- Divert the force: Every emotion of us is a power! If expressed, it would result into something. So why not get a positive result from our displeasure. I've once heard from my lecturer - `Whenever my family members did upset me, I just kept quiet and immersed in my studies. I'm certainly aware of the fact that a bright career is the solution for many of my personal problems.`

- Skip the environment: Anger needs a dais for us to express. It might be the highway or the kitchen. It's better to move away from the place and let passions dilute.

- The alternatives: Some situations keep recurring. They make you tense on the daily basis. It might be the pits on the road you pass or a friend that robs every penny out of you. Just change the road or bid goodbye to the friend

- Think logically: The first side effect that come along with anger is, that you lose the power to reason. Just let your mind be intact. Evaluate what has happened, deduce the possibilities, conclude a few things... and decide the course of action.

- Watch your words: When we are in the hold of anger. We try to hurt as much as we could with our words. So let's watch our words. Let`s be civilised and let's hear what the other one is saying.  In other words, we say a lot when we are in anger. So let's hear a lot too!

- Don't dig the past: The worst thing we do, during those moments of anger... is to dig the filth out of the past! Each and every moment of displeasure is recollected and associated with the present situation. So treat the present situation as unique and be likewise.

- Calming down: This is my favourite one. The way we breath is directly associated to our emotions. So let's slow our veins down. Taking a deep and slow breath filling every inch of our lungs and exhaling slowly would certainly calm us down..

 

-nirjara


 
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